Rise above it

Last night, I had a flying dream. Now, I'm a big believer in that a person's subconscious sorts through feelings and expresses them in dreams. Dreams often do have meaning. Sometimes it's just rehashing the day or looking at what's to come, sometimes our brain needs to sort through feelings and we have those dreams that are full of meaning. Now, flying dreams typically mean :

Something is generally going RIGHT in our lives! Occasionally, we may be flying to avoid something, but the flying in and of itself is still an enjoyable dream activity, and the WAY we do it may tell us more about ourselves than the actual flying. (http://www.mysticalblaze.com/DreamsFlying.htm)

So how was I flying? Well, from this site, the best description is this:

Flying or Floating at Low Altitudes: Floating just above the ground by flapping your hands or arms or peddling your feet is an indication that you have lots of determination and that no matter how hard it gets, you feel you will succeed if you stay on course. This dream is an indication that relief from any setbacks is imminent.

Hm, interesting, isn't it? In the dream, I was using my arms to fly. Generally, I can agree that I have determination and that set backs aren't going to t get to me. Now, in this dream, I was using my ability to fly in order to "get away" from some annoying people.

Interpreting a dream and figuring out exactly what it means can be difficult. We don't always get the clear cut "Joseph take your family off to Egypt now!" dream. But I think I kinda figured out what this dream meant.

While the annoying people in my dream were recognizable as some people in real life (in most cases) I don't think my dream meant that I'm getting away from those people. Rather, I think those people symbolized, in some way, aspects of myself. That I'm rising above my faults, my vices and trying to really work my way to something higher.

Last night, I had a good talk with my hubby (aren't those always nice?). To me, I've been in one of those spiritual deserts for quite some time. I just don't feel God there, not like I used to when I was in high school or my first year of college. Ever since my sister Celeste died, I've felt that I've been pulled away from God. For a time, even though I believed in the truth of faith and Catholicism, I really questioned it and pulled away interiorly. While I've had a bit of a "reversion" (not that I actually left the church) I still don't feel like I'm all the way there yet. I put my trust in God, yet I don't see the fruits of that (not that I'm promised that or anything). And I guess, I'm just a bit mad at God about that. Right now, I need to feel something. I need to feel healing in my soul. I need to feel His peace and love. And He's not giving it to me!

Yes, I know I sound like a selfish little kid asking for something that, perhaps, I don't even need. But I do have a bit of hope from my dream last night. Hopefully, the things that I'm rising above and working my way over are those things that are hindering me from recognizing how God is working in my life. Maybe, just maybe, with some determination and some strong arm flapping, I can get past my negativity and cynicism and depression and all those other awful things, and get a different view point. The Holy Spirit is often shown as a dove, a bird, someone with the ability to rise above and see the big picture. And hopefully, the Holy Spirit will lift me up and show me the big picture. And I don't need to go that high, low altitudes are ok by me.